Teachable moments. Sometimes, they’re not just for the students. This blogging thing is a perfect example. If I’m going to ask my students for their best effort, their openness to growing, making discoveries, challenging themselves, then I better be prepared to do the same. Right? My parents always taught me, by example, that a teacher must always be in the head of a student, continually educating themselves, staying one step ahead. One of the perks I love about reaching my ripe old age, is the actual wisdom that comes with proudly displaying my “wisdom highlights”! (for the younger readers, that’s my grey hair) I have earned every one of them! When I think back to my childhood, I no longer think exclusively in terms of myself. Not only do I see how certain incidents affected me, but how my parents fit into that equation. I now see the teachable moments from their perspective, what they were trying to accomplish with their handling of those sensitive situations. We all have our memories and our stories, and they are extremely significant because they belong to us. My memories and stories are a huge part of my teaching today. It seems to me the teachable moments are all around us, if we remain open to them. In my tiny piece of the dancing universe, my students call them Debbie stories.

Ballet did not come easy to me. Tap was a piece of cake. Jazz showcased my inner sassafras that was always screaming to get out. But ballet…..man, it was my love, my passion, and my mortal enemy! Not one technical element came without a struggle. I knew it then, and I teach it now…..just when you conquer one thing, there are fifteen more things to fix!! It is endless, it is tedious, it can be emotionally exhausting. It is the ultimate in multitasking. It is thrilling, it is transformative. It is everything. Especially when you are twelve. I was the toddler watching my mom teach ballet class, absolutely riveted. I was five watching her play Oberon in Midsummer’s Night Dream with our local ballet company (even back then, a shortage of male dancers!!) and she was the height of majestic. So, I was twelve, and I knew my destiny was to be in that ballet company. You couldn’t audition before the age of twelve, so in my literal, adolescent mind, I was twelve and it was time. My parents seemed reticent to let me audition. More on that later. So, I went with two of my ballet besties from our studio. We were all pretty excited. It was one of the first times I remember having an eye opening experience, where my little world expanded. Who were all these other girls??!! The ballet company serviced our local area, so there were many other budding ballerinas there from the surrounding communities. I have blocked out a good deal of the specifics from that afternoon. I remember the uniform, black leotard, pink tights, a big number on my chest, and I think I remember doing my very best? Oh yeah, I also remember I wore bangs. Thanks, mom. Well, when you go to an audition, you need to understand, there are only two outcomes, you get it or you don’t. I did not. My two besties did. It is interesting how much of that day is gone from my memory, but not the pain. Heartbroken is an understatement. Mortified and embarrassed. A river of tears. It was the first among a lifetime of rejections.

Back to my parents……God bless them, is all I can say. OF COURSE they were reticent to let me audition. I WAS NOT READY!!!! I wasn’t experienced enough. I complained about my turnout endlessly. Did I work on it? No. I grumbled daily about my lack of flexibility. Did I stretch? No. I was a tortured soul who had scoliosis so poor, poor me!! However, they agreed to let me give it a try. The teachable moment!! I’m sure they didn’t look at each other and say, this child needs a wake up call, but in essence, that is what it was. It was an extremely valuable lesson. One can take rejection by holding up their hands and yelling “I quit”, or one can use it as a tool to turn things toward a new direction. The latter is what my parents gifted to me. They let me have my ugly cry (I was doing it long before Oprah) and they sat me down for THE CHAT. They said, “Do you really want to be in this ballet company?” I said yes. (punctuated with heart wrenching sobs and snot dripping down my face) They responded with “Then how will we make that happen?” I shrugged. (everyone knows the adolescent shrug) They suggested I might rethink how I was approaching my training at that point. As my dance teachers, they always did right by me, but I was psychologically in my own way. No one could turn this around except me. It was perhaps the first time I became truly aware of negative energy. For every negative thought, we put ourselves several paces backward. I see it every day with my students. And it crushes me. I have spent a lifetime working on the power of positive thinking, the power of a smile, the power of treating myself with kindness. It is a constant battle. I would rather my students know the healing power of positivity, then have the highest grand battement. My parents gently guided me to a lightbulb moment. They were laying the foundation for learning that every opportunity is a chance to grow. Many bumps along the way. Two steps forward……one step back….and on and on.

One year later. I auditioned again. This time there were no besties at my side. I braved it alone. I was chosen. I spent the next two years as a member of the ballet company. I know what you want to ask….yes, I did grow out my bangs. However, as with so many things in life, the anticipation far exceeds the reality. It was merely a twelve year old who finally took a step in the right direction.